Some months ago I narrated the story of how I met Mr N. Here is a sequel to that story. This part is about how I agreed to marry him and how he got introduced to my family. Let’s dive in!
In those days my phone was busy. Busy with constant calls from the brother who had first asked me to marry him about three years earlier. We were in two seperate countries but communicated endlessly. I had not said a clear “yes” to him but my love for him had gradually gone pass brotherly love to something deeper than that. I began to envisage a life with him. Maybe we could be a couple. Maybe this could work.
In my “maybe” moment, I had a dream. In the dream, I was set out to marry someone else then suddenly it just didn’t work. Then I quickly reverted to agreeing to marry the brother – in the dream.
In real life, I took this as a sign from God that I should go ahead and agree to marry the brother. Afterall, he had the quality I wanted most in a man: a burning passion for God (and he loved me deeply).
So on one of those days, he sent me one of his usual romantic text messages to which I always replied casually. He ended the text with “I love you”. I replied “I love you too”. That was the moment that changed everything. I had officially agreed to be his.
This was the first thing he typed back:
“Let’s pray and commit our relationship into God’s hands.”
This sealed it for me. I wanted a man who wanted God. I wanted a man who would put God first before anything else.
In the days that followed, we called and texted, called and texted again, then called and texted some more. We discussed our past relationships, our families, our plans and everything in between. We couldn’t wait to see each other.
We finally got to meet. I traveled back to Cameroon as I was done with school in Nigeria. The first person in my family who got to know about the brother was my younger brother. I stopped by the town in Cameroon where he was, attending school at the time.
I said shyly.
“Someone wants to marry me.”
My brother looked at me and laughed. I became even shyer. You see, my family had never seen me with a boyfriend. And according to my other brother, Desmond, I was either going to end up a nun or marry a very upright person.
After my awkward announcement to my brother, I zoomed off to the other town where my parents lived. My next dilemma was telling them I was in love with somebody. We never discussed things like that. We spoke about book work and projects. Not falling in love. Not marriage.
I summoned courage and told my mother one morning after she finished praying.
“I want to tell you about the person who wants to marry me.”
I said, my speech fast forwarded, my voice shaky and my eyes wandering like that of a confused person.
Like my brother she let out a laugh too. But she proceeded to probe me about him and even prayed about the relationship.
Meanwhile, plans were on the way for the brother to visit me and meet my family.
The morning of his arrival, I wore a sexy pair of jeans and a hot pink blouse and made my way to the bus agency in Nkwen, Bamenda, where he was to arrive. While still in the taxi I saw him.
He had jeans on with a violet-red turtle-neck sweater and a hat which partially shaded his hairy cheeks. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other. It was pure love. My heart was racing.
I alighted from the taxi, walked to him, we hugged each other then took another taxi to my pastor’s house, where he was to be staying. While in the taxi, he held my hand and my heart melted. I wanted to stay with him forever.
The pastor and his wife were happy to see him. They were happy to see us together (they knew of the relationship from the moment I said yes to the brother).
The brother had lots of gifts for my family and I. He gave his thoughtful gifts to me which I proudly took home and presented to my mama.
You know what the Bible says? “A man’s gift makes way for him…”
My family already liked him before they saw his face. What’s not to love about someone who sends you expensive gifts before meeting you?
It was in these days that we had a short-lived courtship. Short-lived because by the next time the brother came, he came for our traditional wedding. I will tell you how our courtship went in another post.
For now, let’s talk about you. If you are married how did you say “yes” to your spouse? If you are single, do you freely discuss about dating and relationships with your parents or seniors? Let’s talk.