The Other Room Buhari

8 LESSONS FROM “THE OTHER ROOM”

“The Other Room” never had so much meaning until last week when Nigerian president, Muhammadu Buhari, referred to it as one of the “rooms” to which his wife belonged. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, here is the drill. The wife of His Excellency, Aisha Buhari expressed how dissatisfied she was with her husband’s government in an interview with the BBC. “The way things are going I am not happy,” she said. She then insinuated that she might not support her husband if he decides to run for re-election in 2019.

Mr Buhari was then asked in an interview with the Associated Press what he thought about his wife’s opinion and after letting out a short laugh, he said, “I don’t know which party my wife belongs to, but she belongs to my kitchen and my living room and the other room.”

And that’s where “the other room” came from.

Ironically, he said this by a strong woman who belonged to much more than “the other room,” German president, Angela Merkel and she responded by giving him the side glare. If I were by him I would probably do same.

I don’t know exactly what “the other room” refers to but here are some things we can draw from this whole dancing dirty in the market place display by Mr president and his wife.

1. Words spoken can never be taken back, chewed, swallowed and forgotten. What Mr and Mrs president said in the spur of the moment  has repercussions but they can’t take it back. Taste your words before you spit them out.

2. Some things are just not for the public ear. What Mrs Buhari said about the government cabinet made up of people who don’t know or uphold the ruling party’s values sounds like a genuine concern. However, this is not something to be said in front of a microphone. Worse still in an interview with the BBC.

3. BUT her saying this to the press might actually indicate a bigger problem. Madame is probably (or obviously?) voiceless to her husband so her frustration led her to tell the whole world her concerns. When a man doesn’t listen to his wife, he pushes her to talk to the wrong audience. Don’t make your wife tell others what she should be telling you face to face.

4. In this day and age when women are leading countries and feminism is on the rise it is downright uncanny to reiterate the age-old statement that says a woman’s place is in the kitchen.

5. Matters of “the other room” are hard to address directly even for a man like Buhari who has probably been there severally. This applies if “the other room” actually refers to the bedroom.

6. Favouritism and control in government is real. How come Mr president doesn’t know the people he is appointing, according to his wife?  Is it still about giving positions to human beings as though they are rewards and not because they are hardworking and have the government at heart?

7. Behind some African leaders is the shadow of a woman. Not a full woman. A woman who has been limited to the kitchen, the living room and the other room is like a caged bird. How can she fly? How can she live fully? How can she even fully support her husband?

8. You can’t just keep a woman with her own brain under lock and key. She has a mind and a strong voice. If you don’t listen to it, one day it shall be amplified in places you don’t like. Even a woman who is not loud-mouthed like Mrs Buhari can’t be shut down.

Dancing dirty in the market place could happen to anybody. Words spoken can never be retrieved. That’s the power of the tongue. Social media will capture it and it will be all over before you know it. Chew your words before spitting them out.

What are your thoughts on “the other room”?

 

 

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31 Comments

  1. hehehe Precious, the statement infuriated me to say the least. how can a man in this jet age say that his wife belongs to the kitchen ( cooking food), his living room( watching telemundo) and the other room(for sexual purpose) eh? . Well this is a wake up call to women to develop themselves so as to have a voice in their marriage. Don’t trail under your husband’s shadow, stand out on your own!

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  2. I have my reservations about this matter, I bet a woman who belongs to the kitchen will not have the nerve to even grant an interview in the first place. Mr President is just careless with words, he knows she doesn’t belong to any room! A caged bird is voiceless.

    • Interesting thought, sis. I would want to think that what Mr president said came from the abundance of his heart. From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

  3. What can I say? This issue is quite pathetic but I feel madam Buhari went overboard, there are better ways of communicating with ones husband especially when he holds a sensitive position like this.
    I can imagine how embarrassed the President was after hearing the interview, I didn’t expect a better response from him.
    The deed is done already, we can do nothing about it.
    Make dollar sha come down, that’s my concern for now.

  4. BTW, hope you enjoyed your day Presh, many happy returns. Blowing you kisses from”the other room”.

    • Lol at blowing kisses from “the other room”. I enjoyed the day and I’ll be celebrating till the end of the month. Thanks sweetie.

  5. Lawrence Iyok

    The “other room” suggests to me they don’t share the same room. Mmmm.

  6. My sister, the painful aspect of it was that, he still insisted on it that his wife belong to the other room after making the statement the first time…

    He isnt remorseful and not taking his words back. His Special Assistant tried lowering the tone by trying to tell Nigerians that he didn’t mean it that way, but President still insisted and stood on his ground.

    Brendascouch.com

  7. My sister, the painful aspect of it was that, he still insisted on it that his wife belong to the other room after making the statement the first time…

    He isnt remorseful and not taking his words back. His Special Assistant tried lowering the tone by trying to tell Nigerians that he didn’t mean it that way, but President still insisted and stood on his ground.

    What he meant is that, women tasks are only in the house and not going to school to become engineers, doctors, musicians , writer etc… But a full house wife

    Brendascouch.com

  8. Lool. Thanks for breaking it down. I didn’t get the drill initially. It’s really funny tbh. I agree with you on the fact that she’s probably frustrated. Love how Nigerians are making a joke of all these stuff as always. Hope you enjoyed your day.
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  9. A-ha! I laughed when I saw the title of this article. I just knew you were going to write something interesting and engaging about it.

    Nice lessons, really. Thanks for sharing.

    I have so many things on my mind yet nothing to say about the “other room”. It is not a president and the first lady issue, it is a husband and wife issue. Let them resolve it jare.

  10. Precious hope you had a great day… Many more to see in Jesus’ name.

    All I can say is, marriage is powerful! What one husband and wife matter can do to a nation and more is immeasurable. It is not to be taken lightly.

  11. This is so on point, I love your analysis and breakdown. Number 3 just hit the nail on the head, his refusal to listen to her concerns may not have been an excuse, but it certainly played a role in this entire dilemma.

    Women who defied the other room

  12. We all know the adage of not washing the family dirty laundry in public. But I don’t think voicing her concerns about the husband’s inability to keep his promises equals this dirty laundry. Some may claim she went overboard which maybe she probably did. However, communication issues are at play here. It is very possible she’s been telling hubby and hubby been turning a deaf ear. Na ele dem sabi.
    What this whole debacle shows is that it will take a century or more to rid some of our men from the patriarchal tendencies. Him as the president with thousands of his country men looking up to him and the world at large could have chosen his words wisely. I think it just brought to the fore his view about women and I find it ironic because how do you as a leader champion women issues when you limit their importance to three rooms? Whether it was a joke, it was a very bad joke from a leader of a whole country made up of men and women.

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    • Hmmm I don’t think it was a joke oo,
      It is said that his Special Assistant tried to downplay it before the media but Mr President insisted on his words. Sad.
      Thanks for sharing your view, sis. This goes a long way to show us that we still have a long way to go.

  13. Lady P,

    Hmmm… The way you broke this down is so insightful. The implications of the utterances of both President and his wife indicate communication issues in their home.

    I agree with you – “Madame is obviously voiceless to her husband. Sadly, this is how some men relegate their wives to the background. I think that a woman’s relevance in life definitely extends beyond the rooms in a house , whether “Other” or otherwise!

    Excellent piece, thank you for sharing. 🙂

    • Hi Nedoux,

      You are so right. A woman’s relevance can’t be tied to rooms.
      That’s just downright degrading.
      Thanks for stopping by and enjoy the rest of your week!

  14. When I heard his speech, my God my God I was so angry and irritated, especially to the young men of our generation who supported him, it’s disgusting!

    Words spoken, that point is real!

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  15. Reading through this article, the style of writing, choice of words, expression, etc just shout out Pays!!! Pays!!!!! Pays!!!!

  16. Indeed, you provided a great insight into the issue in you usual smart style.

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