TOP TEN FUNNY BLOG POSTS OF 2016

Friends, before I continue bombarding you with more weirdness in 2017, let’s take a look at the top ten funny blog posts in 2016.  Grab a cuppa and dive in.

1. Makeup From Hell

“After all the YouTube videos and Mary Kay practicals, I attended a traditional wedding on Saturday looking like Juju Calabar’s assistant.”

The makeup I talk about in this post was purely from hell. Read the full post HERE.

2. The Day the Preacher Lied

“He further said his wife drove a Prado- a woman who looked like she had been starved for days. And no, this is not a brilliant use of literary phrases. She seriously looked emaciated. I wondered how she sat in that chair comfortable with all the lies just like I often wonder how wives of lying pastors feel.”

Imagine my shock when a supposed bishop let untruths slide with ease from his mouth on the pulpit! Read the full story HERE.

3. The Day I Tried to Raise the Dead

“My mouthed grandmother who was visiting us then asked,

“So when wona wookup yi for die, wona go keep yi for wuside?”
(Where will you keep him after raising him up from the dead?”
Oh my! This is probably one of the most ambitious things I ever did. I laugh today when I think of this story but it wasn’t funny at all then, facing a corpse in a cold mortuary with anointing oil and borrowed faith. Read all of the story HERE.

4. I Went to the Fire Church

“There is something girl number 2 sadly bears in common with the oyibos; the inability to follow rhythm. She shook uncontrollably like a rat that had dropped into a pot of hot red oil. I looked at her in disappointment but she smiled back at me in amazement. She was probably singing a different song in her head and dancing as her moves failed to marry the music.”
Haha this was quite an experience! Full story HERE.
Update: I wrote this in 2015 actually and mistakenly added it to the list. Memory issues… I’ll pray about it.

5. How To Organize a Cameroonian Wedding with 100 Thousand Francs ($200)

“Bride and Groom Outfits
-Okrika wedding dress from Marche Nkululou- 5000frs OR ask a friend or family member who had a wedding before to lend you their dress. Why spend a fortune on an outfit you will only wear for a few hours?
-Super cent coat sewed by Pa Joe in the quartier. Material and workmanship- 20,000frs
-Pointini shoes from hawkers in Commercial Avenue- 5,000frs”
Hahaha planning a thrifty wedding just got easier. Read it all HERE. 

6. The Day I Became a Mother

“I kept following her misguiding rule to just push. With the constant pushing, something came out but not the baby! It is the thing that you go to release in a closed room when no one is watching. It came out, right there, on the hospital bed, thankfully in a hospital bowl. Madam midwife quickly put it away. I was too engulfed in pain to be embarrassed. After all, I had heard many women release that thing on their delivery bed too so I wasn’t the pioneer of such releases.”
Motherhood- it is the thing that turns your life upside down right from day 1. Read how my motherhood journey began HERE.
Note: Wrote this in 2015, republished in 2016.

7. 10 Crazy Things Every Mother Has Done at Some Point

“1. Considered getting rid of the kids for a loooooong time.
Sometimes I just wish I could send my kids on a month-long vacation somewhere.
2. Spoken continuously like a mad person.
You know the way mad people speak sometimes. The speech is fast-forwarded and almost has no meaning. Yeah, that.
3. Seen your kids as deliberate enemies.
Some days, it just feels like the girls are doing every and anything to switch on my anger button. Dem send wona for ma back? Go and tell them you haff not seen me!”
That’s eh, motherhood comes with a fair dose of craziness. Read the full post HERE.

9. Why I Will Never Be A Modern Girl

“My backyard is nothing to write to Ntamassen about. I do not have a killer flat tummy. My belly is something far, far away from flat. Thank God for big blouses, which I use to cover the multitude of sins. Ha.”

Full Post HERE.

10. How Sh*t Disgraced Me At The Market

“As I got to the front of the house, I found the door open. I shouted with a shaky voice,

“Hello, anybody here?”
No one answered. I went straight into their toilet and positioned myself for a breakthrough:
Cacacacaprettetetebrrrrrrprooooobangbangbangwuuuu”
Oh my! I don’t know why things like this happen to me. Read the full story HERE.
I hope these posts brighten your day as they did mine!
What’s the funniest blog post you ever read? Please leave a link below. I’ll love to read it too!

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12 Comments

  1. Oh. The one you and your friend tried to raise the dead cracks me up everytime I remember it. Every blessed time. That and the first giving birth story. That one isn’t 2016, I am sure. Those two are all my all time favorites.
    So the raising the dead and the fire church one was written in 2016?Waoh!seems like it was long I read it.

    • For some reason, the raising up of the dead story is hilarious to many. I actually lived in fear for days after that experience.
      You are right about the childbirth story. I actually published in 2015 then republished in 2016.
      That Fire Church story seems like a 2015 one too. Lol memory issues ??
      I’ll update the post to include this. Thanks for noting dear.

  2. Oh! And the “modern girl” post, Beautiful.

  3. MEYLAM Epse Dibaka Eliz

    Ahhh my sweetest Pré, i’m laughing out so loud my niece came running n asking if i’ve been given an overdose of the laughter hormone. I can read the stories over n over n over again and still laugh like it was my first time reading. Thanks for being such a blessing and thanks for using your pen. I love you!

  4. Olaitan Bobade

    The picture up there is so cute! The titles alone are hilarious. Clicking on the links straightaway.
    http://Www.laitanbee.com

  5. The raised the dead one had me!! I was like “Huh”.
    You do have a way with humour Presh!

    http://www.KacheeTee.com

  6. Haha, I believe I’m only familiar with 2 of the funny posts. Lying preacher and modern day girl. Will check out the rest. Xx

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