TROUBLE MEETUP NYANGA MAN

Post title is in Cameroonian Pidgin (creole). It means “Trouble meets a calm person”.

trouble with neighbours


I am in my favourite place in the whole world, my kitchen. I am prepping to go on a culinary adventure with my two sisters-in-law (actually, nieces-in-law), T and N. One of them is getting married traditionally today. We will be making Jollof RiceGoat Meat StewFish RollsPuff Puff and Njama Njama
As a food enthusiast, I am so looking forward to the meals. But my kitchen doesn’t actually share my sentiments. She has soiled dishes in her sink, a grainy floor and little humans, strutting around. If I must get things done, I must make my kitchen ready. So I reach for the sink where I squeeze some liquid soap onto a foam and restore health to the dishes. I am on a mission to get the cooking space worthy.

Sister-in-law, N is home with me while T just drove out to do some last minute shopping. Boom! Boom!! Boom!!! The door quavers with a hard knock. N reaches for it. I hear a male voice talking to her. I hobble to the entryway where I meet one of my neighbours, a tall lanky Caucasian man who always says, “hi” to me when our eyes meet outside. He tells me, 
“Oh, I should be talking to you. You are the one who lives here. Your friend’s car hit my van while she was backing out (driving in reverse). The car rocked and Ann, the neighbour on the other side saw my car move. At least, my tail lights are not broken but if you can make me an offer, I won’t call my insurance or the police.”
By friend, he means T. I ask to see the car. As I follow him to the parking lot, I imagine a twisted car, staring at me and pleading for justice. I reach the car and I see nothing! Rien! Nada! The man rubs his hand on one passenger door with a few faint lines and says that’s where T hit his car.

Trouble meetup nyanga man!

Mr N comes to the scene. He comes, examines the car while the man repeats his song of “if you make me an offer, then I won’t call the police.” He tells the man the faint scratches look old. The man raises his hands in the air and walks out while Mr, N is still talking. It’s the kind of raise of hand that says, “I’ve tried to make peace with you but you don’t want to. Be ready for what is coming to you!”


Mr N follows him to his house so they can talk. They go back to the car. At this point, N has called T to tell her someone said she hit her car. T says there was no car by hers when she drove out. N tells the man. This infers he is completely lying!

The man tunes his voice’s volume to top high:

“THE CAR WAS PACKED HERE!
SHE HIT MY CAR!”

Ahhh!

Mr N says if she hit the car, then there will equally be an impact on her own car. You can’t hit a car and it rocks (according to Ann the other neighbour) and your car has no scratch too.

The man’s wife joins him for support. She whips out her tablet and captures photos of the “destroyed car”. They are basically taking photos of nothing because they barely-there lines on the man’s car won’t be conspicuous in a picture. They take quick steps to their house and call the U.S emergency number, 911.

Police vans come into the compound in a few minutes. Mr N is outside anticipating their arrival. One officer goes to Mr N while one officer goes to the man. The man starts by telling them a long story of how he suffers selling newspapers in the wee hours of the morning. Stories of how children are always touching his mini-van. Mr N, on the other hand, explains our side of the story.

T arrives with her car. The police observe it and the body is as smooth as that of an egg. The Police Chief goes further to say both cars aren’t even the same height so she couldn’t have hit the car at the position the man showed. Ann, the man’s supposed witness, shouts from in front of her house with her epic puppy running around her, (I shall tell you about this puppy, someday!)

“I didn’t see anything!”

The police enter their cars and drive off. Mr Man bows his head and walks to his house. Mr N goes to meet him and apologises for the sake of peace. We carry on with our day of cooking, talking about how strange the situation is.

I see the man today and I consciously smile and greet because “so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12: 18

Have you ever had a difficult neighbour? How did you deal with them?

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10 Comments

  1. Lol! Can you imagine. And he had the nerve to claim someone saw it. He should be arrested sef for wasting police's time.
    God save us from being implicated. Imagine, if it was a more serious crime like or hit and run manslaughter, that is how the man will claim he saw the car that hit it and even describe the person inside it.
    We have had some quarrelsome neighbors, especially tenants who start misbehaving when you give them quit notice or when the want to pack out. But nothing as extreme and blatant as this your neighbor.
    Just be careful Abeg. Ok.

  2. I have never seen this kind of thing, S2C!
    I don't understand how someone just forms a lie like that. Let God watch over us.
    Some tenants can be troublesome eh.

  3. Hahah, desperate hungry man trying to pull a fast one. He is lucky the police drove off without telling him of for wasting their time. Good for u guys keeping and maintaining peace. He and his wife are an embarrassment

  4. The man was really trying to pull a fast one, asking us to make an offer and all. My dear, maintaining peace is our only choice. Nothing as disturbing as not getting along with a neighbour.

  5. He is not a serious person at all Lol, seriously some neighbours can annoy someone sha.. but we just use our ignoring method(like my mum would say).I loved the way you handled the issue at last.

    http://www.tessyonyia.com

  6. My dear, trouble like that from no where. One has to be very tactful.

  7. Smell for all the baking and frying don surely do yi nose dem wan dame for free U sef 🙂

    Sorry to hear that some people can really lie between their teeth without a by your leave. I think he also felt because he's oyebo Police will side him.

    I like the way it was handled. Maintain your peace always but remain watchful.

    Glad it all ended well. Congrats to your niece-in-law

  8. I tell you say eh, total lie with not even a small element of truth.
    Lol @ smell for baking and frying.
    I think he felt that way too… But the oyibo police saw for themselves that nothing happened. Thank God.

  9. this is really funny, buh we serve a hilarious GOD , I BUMPED into your blog on friday and i ready the post as time permits me , cos my job and this morning i opened as usual and ran into this write up, ironically something happened at work this morning with a colleague , which involved arguing and all and eventually i had to be the one to apologise, but b4 the issue went out of hand , i asked the holyspirit to intervene, because i couldn't imagine myself apologising to her , nyways i did and den went about doing my job and went back to the post to feel a bit better and then i saw this "so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Romans 12: 18
    i have never felt so much at peace , i had goose bumps immediately am almost in tears , so he knew something was gonna happen and then he led me to your blog and he made you write this. God bless you richly

  10. This comment gave me goosebumps. God is so REAL. He has a way of helping us do what is right even when we do not feel like it. Thank God for giving you peace that surpasses every human understanding. Do you know my husband apologised to the neighbour in this story? That really ministered to me. We just need to let go of ourselves and let God.
    Thank you so much for dropping a comment to let me know. God bless you, dear.
    Hope to see more of you, here.

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