WHY I WILL NEVER BE A MODERN GIRL
Published Nov 26, 2016
Updated Dec 05, 2016
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I have always been a social misfit. I’m not joking. I don’t mean that in a I cannot relate with people kind of way. What this means is that I don’t always seem to fit in whatever society I find myself in. I just don’t fit. Back in my high school days, I wrote an article titled, “real social fitness” that got published in the school magazine. Maybe it was my way of exonerating myself from the “social misfit” cloud that hung over me.
When all my friends were dating and sharing gifts with their boyfriends, I was busy writing poems for them. Who does that? The one time I tried to fit in by partying in my first year at the university, it was so weird. I could feel my salamanda shoes and skimpy skirt begging me to stop. That same year, I met Jesus or rather, Jesus met me. That changed my life completely and my inability to conform intensified. From being the girl with neither swag nor stylish shoes in secondary, to being the girl with no boyfriend in high school, I became an official “church girl”
These days, I no longer meet people in school but on social media. I have discovered that I still do not fit! I have accepted my fate. I will never be a modern “geh”. Here is why:
I need my man
Mr N is not permitted to die. Who is going to pay the bills, fix things around the house or service the cars? I hardly know how those things happen. I am not some Miss Independent who can do it all on her own and needs no man. I am not one who refuses to take her husband’s last name because I want to be viewed as a stong self-sufficient woman. I need my man.
My place is in the kitchen
While my mates are busy chanting, “a woman’s place is not in the kitchen” I am spending/enjoying most of my life in the kitchen. You see why I say I don’t fit? I am not team #wifenotcook. I am team #feedhusbandtillhecanttakeitanymore.
I don’t have Kim K’s body
And I’m not obsessed with having that kind of body either. My backyard is nothing to write to Ntamassen about. I do not have a killer flat tummy. My belly is something far, far away from flat. Thank God for big blouses, which I use to cover the multitude of sins. Ha.
I am not widely travelled
These days I see modern “gehs’ on social media visiting all sorts of places: Bangladesh, Thailand, the Bahamas, Cuba, Dubai, even Ukraine. For me, it’s by the special grace of God that I entered America. And even in this America I almost still live like the contri geh that I am. No sipping pina coladas on the beach with a Prada purse and lamboutine shoes. Is it lamboutine or louboutine?
I have never worn human hair
And I don’t intend to buy any human parts called hair to add to my head. The thought alone scares me. But let me tell you the truth, the prices scare me more. All that money for hair???
I do not dress to kill
On most days, I dress to cover the body. I hardly know what the reigning fashion outfit is. You can still find me wearing things that were en vogue in the early 2000s. In fact, a woman saw me the other day in a store and said my shirt reminded her of something she used to wear in the 90s. And I honestly thought I was being stylish. Chai, I have suffered.
My selfies are not perfect
My selfie game is so not-on-point. I often try to take as many as I can then I give up because for some reason, the camera in my hand cannot produce the picture in my heart. Why?
So for the reasons above, I will never be a modern girl. Do you identify with any of the things I listed? Are you a modern “geh” or modern “boi”?
wow Precious u be die, ur way of telling it as it is …simply amazing. You are just perfect and yes im a social misfit too in soooo many ways but i guess it will take a whole year for me to express it as u do. Keep it up girl
Hahahahaha u are very funny… my definition of a modern woman is that kind of girl that make things happen and has her life in order. Well i can totally relate with you as being a social misfit back in the day. So I learnt to set my rules and my standards. And according to those rules I belong to that class that “run the world” hahahahaha ……….Furthermore when I look back I think being a socially ‘misfit’ was actually a good thing. Because it saved me from all the high school dramas and gave me enough time to make me what I am today. So I thank God for my misfit life hahahaha
Yes Awa, being socially misfit was actually a good thing! When I look back today, I’m so grateful that I didn’t fit in. My inability to fit in helped me focused on the things that really mattered. So yes to not fitting in!
Thank you for sharing, dear.
oh Goodness ! Precious my ribs I’m on the floor laughing like an idiot. You sure just made my day. So authentic you sure are one special lady and please just be you. This write up brought up some memories when ï tried to fit it but at one point I just gave up. concentrated on my studies, strong Church girl, my love for cooking and worked hard to make my own money. I learned to just live and love the authentic me rather than be a copy of someone else.
Glad you loved it, Harriet!
Yes to being authentic! Pretending to be someone else is just too tiring.
Thanks for sharing, dear!
Wow. I have been following for a while now. I am so amazed by your honesty. I feel same too but fear to express myself.
Don’t be scared to be who you are, Lyly. God loves you just the way you are. Hope to see more of you around here, dear.
I enjoyed reading your post dear Precious. You are a born writer and i totally relate with the human hair thingy, can’t talk myself into wearing someone else’s, (probable dead, don’t know why I think so) hair. Don’t change a thing. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Awww Hilli, so glad to have you here. Thanks for dropping a comment. That human hair thing baffles me. I won’t change a thing about me.
Oh dear! I laughed out so hard. I missed this place. Been on a needed break. Honestly, your style is what makes you. I am so with you on cooking for hubby. Some people have taken feminism(whatever that means) to an insane level.
http://www.bubusboulevard. com
That’s eh Bubu I don’t even know what the f-ism means anymore. This space has missed you dear.
Hmmm,I do laugh tire,fashion shoes in secondary school? Ma sister ,it was one shoe per academic year,boyfriend in high school, how that one start? I was busy leading kids to Christ in the children’s choir at the Baptist church.I as a big missfit in Buea cos I didn’t have trending dresses.now I still spend most of my weekends in the kitchen cooking trying out new recipes mostly from your page,and seeking Gods face.I hope to one day spoil my husband with the so much good food.keep up big sis and remain who you are.
Awww Chris. Thanks dear.
One shoe per academic year – I can totally understand. You have been busy building a strong foundation for your life. Thanks for stopping by, dear and sorry for the late response.
This post was perfect! I laughed my heart out at “the camera in my hand cannot produce the picture in my heart. Why?”. From this post alone, I can tell you are a very unique individual who refuses to conform to society’s standards and I tend to gravitate to such people. Your point about belonging in the kitchen struck me because although I totally support the #iwontcookformyhusbandifidontenjoycooking school of thought, I also realize from your posts that cooking truly does give you joy, so trying to conform to that new societal ideal would be lying to yourself. I wish more women could make their lives a balancing act like you have.
Memkoh, thanks for your kind words dear.
Life is indeed a balancing act. I don’t think I’ve figured it all out but I’m growing every day.
Thank you for stopping by my blog!
Sisi Precious!! Are you in my head or what? I wrote and saved an article on Feminism and how we need to reboot things according to God and not the rubbish the world has been feeding us. I even mentioned the part of a woman being okay to love her husband and if possible 500% sef. Lol. It’s no one’s business if she wants to take her husband’s name or not. As long as they love each other and are fine, they should just leave be jare. People just like wahala.
You’re so funny!Lmao @covering your stomach. Haba now. I’m sure you look alright jare. I admire you though. And I believe you’re right. Though the norm hasn’t been stated, there’s so much going on which they keep pushing in our faces to conform to, but thank God for grace and boldness.
Keep being you dear. xo!
Exactly dear! We need to reboot things according to the word of God and not according to the standards of the world. Sometimes God’s way will look foolish in the face of worldly standards. But the word of God remains true. There is no 21st century Bible. The Bible is the same – timeless.
Looking forward to what you will post. Thank you for being a sweet encouraging voice.
Like you said above the norm isn’t stated but it is evident.I laughed out loud when I was reading.The thing is to be authentically you and your true crowd will love you truly.
PS:Your posts no longer update on the bloglist I have on my blog.You know why??
http://www.CheecheeLIVE.com
Exactly dearie!
Please remove my blog URL from your list then copy straight from the homepage here and add again. I think it stopped updating due to my move to WordPress.
Laughing seriously on the road. Hehe. The part where you talked about your backyard is just too hilarious. Such a fun post. Lots of love.
http://Www.laitanbee.com
Awww glad to make you laugh. Have a great week, sweetie!
Lol! I love this, I’m also hopeless with DIY in the house, but I’m learning. Traveling is amazing though, meeting new people and tasting their food ? But above all else, being true to oneself is paramount, and you have that covered! Great post
I agree, Dami. Traveling is amazing.
Hopefully I will get to that part someday.
Thanks for reading, dear!
Lol! I am so late to the party. I couldn’t stop laughing, and the comments? Oh my!
One of things that draw me to you is your authenticity. I can feel it in your words. Please, don’t ever be a modern geh. Lol.
I can relate on so many levels. I’ve never worn human hair either. I await the day “they” will buy African hair because I’d be glad to sell mine. Lmho. Have a blessed week, ma’m.
amakamedia.com
Hahaha at the day they will buy African hair!
You all have endorsed my contri gehness so I won’t stop.
Have a great week too! Thank you.
We really do not have to conform to societal standards and I love that you stay true to yourself. Ok, I really laffed hard sha, ?? great post.
https://jessicahugoinspire.com/2016/11/24/on-feminism-how-much-is-too-far/
Hahaha thanks Jess!
You all have encouraged me to be unapologetically me.
I have not even finished reading yet, I had to run down here to comment. Like seriously Precious, society is beginning to make cooking look like it’s not a woman’s responsibility & taking your husband’s last name is a crime. Let me quickly go back and continue then come back and leve more thoughts.