We sat in the class startled as two Home Economics female teachers parted their lips and revealed to us that at some point in our lives our vaginas will ooze blood and it will be normal. After receiving this very uncomfortable lecture from my instructors in primary school, the next ‘formal’ talk I had about this blood-oozing syndrome was from my mama. She stressed on the fact that when the blood begins to come, I will get pregnant if a boy touches me.
I learnt that the whole bleeding thing was called menstruation. Years down the line, I went to the loo to take care of business and there I saw it! My underwear was scarlet; stained with blood. I knew the next reasonable thing to do was to talk to my mother but I felt too embarrassed to do that. How was I to begin that kind of conversation??? I felt awkward initiating a chat of such genre with her. We hardly spoke about my “hoo-ha”. It was something sacred, private and sometimes it was as though it didn’t exist. So I folded some toilet tissue and put in my pant (underwear/panty) and went on with life that day as usual.
The next day, I could no longer hide the change that had taken over my body. I ran to my mother’s bedroom and pulled down my underwear.
“Mommy, see!”
Those were the only words I could utter. She led me on how to take care of myself and reiterated her lesson.
“Right now, if a boy touches you, you will get pregnant.”
Many women can relate to this infamous lecture about menstruation which comes in different shapes and sizes. Others include:
“Don’t talk to boys.”
“Don’t go near boys”
“Boys are evil. They make girls pregnant!”
A dormitory mate in my secondary school totally believed she would get pregnant if a boy comes close to her or worse still, touches her. After her mama gave her the infamous stern warning, she avoided her brother as though he were Boko Haram. When he eventually inevitably touched her, her heart was thumping! She knew she had gotten pregnant just like that.
We laughed it off when she narrated the story but this is no laughing matter. It is sad that our mothers shyed away from properly educating us about our bodies. I believe if our mamas had amplified this discussion to tell us about the female anatomy, we would embrace menstruation differently.
I am a woman and I menstruate. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that! My menstruation is what ensures the continuity of life.
I am so proud of the day blood came out of my “hoo-ha” because it has made me the woman I am today.
What was your first menstruation experience like? Let’s talk below!
Also published in my journal at worldpulse.com.
Anonymous says
June 15, 2016 at 12:46 pmIt was a wonderful experience! My mother told me all I needed to know before the D-DAY, so when it came it was a welcome development. When I told her, she was very happy and congratulated me that I am now a woman! Guess what? I have already started my girls! MOTHER'S STYLE
Precious Nkeih says
June 15, 2016 at 12:50 pmAwww how sweet of your mom!
Thanks for sharing, dear.
How old are your girls?
Chinelo Okoli says
June 15, 2016 at 1:52 pmHmmmmm. Presh its such a strange experience for a young girl. I was in JSS 1 or form 1 when i got my period. before i went off to boarding school, my mum had given me the same lecture all african moms give. don't let a boy touch you blablabla. good enough i was in a girls only school. The day i finally got my period, i cried and cried. i eventually ran to tell my older sister who was 2 classes ahead of me. she calmed me down and figured out getting packs of sanitary pad for me. funny enough she had not gotten her period by then but was so helpful.
my dear, there are many things i wish our mothers told us about menstruating. Like the hormonal changes, bodily changes or how to deal with PMS or Pre menstrual syndrome. Thank God we got thru it. I will definitely educate my daughter about it early enough too.
And guess what, in Igbo culture, in south east Nigeria, where i'm from, a chicken will be killed and prepared for a girl on the day she gets her period. That's a fun fact. Lol. I did not have one killed for me tho cos i was away in school.
Precious Nkeih says
June 15, 2016 at 2:36 pmIt is so strange when it hits you the first time. How nice of your older sister! It is interesting to see that sometimes younger sisters see their period before the older ones.
Our mothers could definitely do better. Now that we are aware, we will teach our daughters so they understand what we didn't understand.
I love the culture of killing a chicken for the girl! That means she is celebrated. If I were in your shoes, I should have requested for my chicken as soon as I got home. LOL
Thank you for sharing your experience, dear.
Nedoux says
June 16, 2016 at 5:09 pmI was eleven and in boarding school when I first passed through the "Red Sea". When I went home for the holidays, my mum gave me that same "You are now a woman, no boy should touch you" vague speech.
But if only they’d told us that the whole thing was so “bloody” overrated, I’d have waited till I was Twenty-five. I have contributed generously to the annual profits of the sanitary towel industry.
Indeed, absolutely nothing wrong with periods, its natural and thus shouldn't be shrouded in mystery.
Precious Nkeih says
June 17, 2016 at 12:37 amLOL at passed through the red sea.
LOL multiplied at contributing to the profits of sanitary towels.
Nedoux, you are a case!
Joy2Endure says
June 29, 2016 at 2:28 pmThe taboo subject 🙂 well, since it was viewed that way, I never told any one and I never got the famous lecture. Was too busy even fighting for dear life to be worried about boys and pregnacies. But when it eventually came, I put two by two thanks to curiousity and watching my elder sisters talk and took care of my business. Ironically, my mum was the one affected. She was more disturbed than me, probably thought I was not normal. SO when they asked me, I just said Yes. And next question why didn't you tell me and I am well that is my private matter. End of story. That is what taboo does am glad girls today are bold enough to appreciate this unique body function instead of hiding in shame.
This just gave me an idea on what I can write about on a new site, reading and going down memory lane just triggered a story, thank you!
Joy2Endure says
June 29, 2016 at 2:28 pmLOOOL This comment is my comment of the day. Can you imagine the ordeal of passing through the red sea and making someone rich while you are at it… not fair at all 🙂 🙂
http://www.joy2endure.com
Precious Nkeih says
June 29, 2016 at 3:50 pmOh wow! You have always been a real Miss Independent.
It's interesting to see that you never got the famous lecture. That lecture was so popular. Lol
Looking forward to read what you will write!