As a mom, one of my goals is to love my kids well. But sometimes I struggle with how to love them well. So how do I love my kids well? I have found that being with them is one of the most loving things I can do for them. I’ll explain.
Friends! If you only recently started following me, you might be surprised to find a post that’s not a recipe. I want to let you know that I started my blog to share my heart. whether it pertains to food or to life. That is why it is called, “Precious Core”. I used to share posts like this here a lot then I took a long break from that and focused only on recipes. I am back to sharing posts like this. You can expect to see this kind of posts on Mondays. And I will continue to share recipes with you every week – on Wednesdays and Fridays. The recipes on Fridays will include videos. This is my schedule because I want to bring some rhythm into my posting frequency. I will try to keep this schedule to the best of my ability but if I ever miss a day, well know that life happens. Thank you for being here and I hope my stories, whether food stories or life stories inspire you.
Okay, back to today’s post which is about the things I have learned about loving my kids well.
I am a recovering phone addict. I hate to say this but it is the truth. Putting my phone down is one of the hardest things I have to deal with. There are so many things on the phone drawing my attention. And these are oftentimes an enemy to good parenting.
“Do you really have to be on your phone now?” I can’t count the number of times my older girls have asked me this question.
They mostly ask this question when they want my full undivided attention. When I am on the phone, I am not fully present with them and they can sense that.
Being on the phone stops me from loving my kids well. Because to love my kids well, I have to be with them fully.
So how do I love my kids well? I love my kids well by being with them. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that my kids value my presence more than anything else. They want me to be with them more than they want me to do things for for them.
Here is what being with them looks like:
1. Being with them looks like talking with them. This is huge because my girls LOVE to talk and they need someone to listen and talk back. It is hard to listen sometimes because oh the cares of this world! And sometimes their stories are unending.
But I need to listen to them talk. I need to hear their stories, their thoughts and, their questions. I need to see life from their lenses. The more I listen, the more I create a safe space for them to pour out their heart.
2. Being with them looks like playing with them. My girls LOVE when I play with them. They want me to run around chasing them. They want me to jump in the trampoline with them. They want me to play UNO with them.
They enjoy when I play with them as though I am a kid myself.
3. Being with them looks like speaking each child’s love language. I recently learned that our kids have their individual love languages and we need to learn them and speak them. You can learn more about the five love languages here.
4. Being with them looks like cooking with them. Spending time in the kitchen with my girls just cooking and talking is always such a wonderful bonding experience.
5. Being with them looks like teaching them. As a homeschooling mom, I love seeing my girls grow in their knowledge. I have found that the process of learning together (because I am always learning) yields more closeness.
6. Being with them looks like cuddling up to watch their favorite shows. Cartoons are not my thing. But I have realized that when my girls are watching a cartoon and I join them and even comment on it, it brings them so much joy.
Now note that I am a work from home mom. But always being at home does not automatically translate into always being present. Being present for my kids is something I have to do intentionally, keeping away all distractions.
Being with your children might look different to you depending on their specific love languages. I encourage you to find out how your kids receive love and commit to loving them that way.
May we be a generation of parents who are not glued to their phones but keep their phones down, look into the eyes of their kids and know them, really know them.
May we give our children the gift of presence because the gift of presence is one of the greatest gifts we will ever give them.
I am still a work in progress and maybe you are too. Let’s hold on to God as our anchor and trust Him to help us love these children, these blessings well.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
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