This is some marriage 101 here, people. There are some things a marriage can not survive without. They must be present for a marriage to grow. The two becoming one is an easy phrase to say but it is quite a process. It is a process of building, plucking and all sorts of things. So I wanted to share with you some necessary ingredients in a marriage. Without these ingredients, forget it. Your marriage can not survive. Without further ado, let’s get into them.
It kent werk if you do not forgive. It just kent. Some people say “I can never ever forgive him/her”. That kind of language is not meant for marriage, Haven’t you heard that marriage is a union between two forgivers? It doesn’t matter whether you are skilled in forgiving or not. You have to forgive then forgive some more. That person you so loved and joined yourself to will hurt you and hurt you some more. So forgiveness is essential!
Permit me to speak “Cameroon”. Wehke! You want to be proud and remain married? It can’t work na. Pride is deadly. Pride will stop you from apologising when you should. Pride will stop you from serving your partner the way you should. Pride is not a good thing. That’s why scripture says God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).
Without trust, a marriage can’t survive. If you are always imagining where your spouse is, questioning their every move and doubting what they say, it is just not good. Lack of trust will make you draw untrue conclusions. Lack of trust can quickly break a marriage.
You have to tolerate a lot in marriage. Because living with someone with a different background means they will do things you do not like. What you have to do is tolerate, not constantly try to fix them or make them like you. Sometimes you just have to deal with it. That wife might always be late for an outing. Those socks might always be on the floor.
Yes, marriage involves compromise. You can not be married and act as a single person when taking decisions. There has to be some compromise. There has to be some letting go so the two can really become one.
Without physical intimacy a marriage can’t survive oo. Couples who make love regularly are happier and healthier. It is important to prioritise sex, not just pursuing it as a necessary evil but truly desiring your spouse.
Marriage shouldn’t be so serious that every one is stiff-faced and hardly laughing. A good dose of laughter is essential. Even scripture says laughter is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22).
Further reading: 5 Little Ways to Make a Marriage Stronger
Without these essential ingredients, a marriage would barely survive. The bottom line is love goes way beyond a feeling – it is a decision. So when you forgive, are humble, trust, tolerate and compromise, have sex regularly and laugh together, you are choosing love everyday.
Do you have other ideas? What are other things a marriage can’t survive without? Please share below.
To marriages that last!