This is some marriage 101 here, people. There are some things a marriage can not survive without. They must be present for a marriage to grow. The two becoming one is an easy phrase to say but it is quite a process. It is a process of building, plucking and all sorts of things. So I wanted to share with you some necessary ingredients in a marriage. Without these ingredients, forget it. Your marriage can not survive. Without further ado, let's get into them.
It kent werk if you do not forgive. It just kent. Some people say "I can never ever forgive him/her". That kind of language is not meant for marriage, Haven't you heard that marriage is a union between two forgivers? It doesn't matter whether you are skilled in forgiving or not. You have to forgive then forgive some more. That person you so loved and joined yourself to will hurt you and hurt you some more. So forgiveness is essential!
Permit me to speak "Cameroon". Wehke! You want to be proud and remain married? It can't work na. Pride is deadly. Pride will stop you from apologising when you should. Pride will stop you from serving your partner the way you should. Pride is not a good thing. That's why scripture says God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).
Without trust, a marriage can't survive. If you are always imagining where your spouse is, questioning their every move and doubting what they say, it is just not good. Lack of trust will make you draw untrue conclusions. Lack of trust can quickly break a marriage.
You have to tolerate a lot in marriage. Because living with someone with a different background means they will do things you do not like. What you have to do is tolerate, not constantly try to fix them or make them like you. Sometimes you just have to deal with it. That wife might always be late for an outing. Those socks might always be on the floor.
Yes, marriage involves compromise. You can not be married and act as a single person when taking decisions. There has to be some compromise. There has to be some letting go so the two can really become one.
Without physical intimacy a marriage can't survive oo. Couples who make love regularly are happier and healthier. It is important to prioritise sex, not just pursuing it as a necessary evil but truly desiring your spouse.
Marriage shouldn't be so serious that every one is stiff-faced and hardly laughing. A good dose of laughter is essential. Even scripture says laughter is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22).
Further reading: 5 Little Ways to Make a Marriage Stronger
Without these essential ingredients, a marriage would barely survive. The bottom line is love goes way beyond a feeling - it is a decision. So when you forgive, are humble, trust, tolerate and compromise, have sex regularly and laugh together, you are choosing love everyday.
Do you have other ideas? What are other things a marriage can't survive without? Please share below.
To marriages that last!
Amazing summary. All very, very true. Been there Precious. Been there!
Thanks so much, Gerry! Been there? Still there?
Munge sylvie says
Dialogue is also very essential, to hv a free mind n also clear doubt's.thks for sharing precious
So true, Sylvie!
Communication is life to a marriage.
Thank you for sharing!
Poor communication, keeping secrets, sometimes this feminism advocacy in a wrong way can be detrimental to marriages.
I couldn't have said it better.
I'm not married yet Precious but I know from common knowledge that love goes beyond the bubbly butterfly in our stomachs. It's those factors which you have mentioned that keep a marriage strong. Thank you so much for sharing sister.
True, Dominika! It goes way beyond the butterflies in the belly. We need to choose love everyday. Thanks dear.
Exactly. You have said it all.
We need to choose love everyday. Even when it seems hard we need to choose love.
Most marriages have broken up because of lack of one or more of the reasons above. Money is another common theme that breaks up marriages but still linked to the above.
Thanks for this.
That's true, Bisola. Money matters are very important too.
Thank you so much for all the points ma. Marriage is truly an eye opener to so many things o. God will continue to bless and strengthen your home too.
Glad the points are helpful, Roseline.
May God keep our homes.
Okoro Yvonne says
Hy Precious, these are really good points and even friendship can't survive without some of these (trust, communication, forgiveness).
True, Yvonne. These apply to even everyday relationships.
Hi Precious, I like the way u put things, realy on point. Unselfishness...being selfish/stingy will always cause a barrier between couples
Being selfish is another thing that could destroy a marriage. Marriage is all about sharing.
Mummy Prechy! We are learning. Keep the Marriage 101 coming . . .
Glad you are, dear. I sure will!
Tega Enai says
Not married yet but this was very insightful. I'm taking notes.
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Help!!! Why can’t I be consistent & get stuff done? | Would you love to be a part of the Consistency Challenge?
Glad you are, Tega! God bless!
Bubu Green says
Well said! Just a little bit of selflessness will go a long way. It's been a long time Presh. How are you doing?
Not sure how I skipped this comment.
I'm doing good hun! Thank you for asking.
Awesome! Yes to laughter... at the end of the day we all still need a friend
True Dami! They say marriage is good when you marry your friend.
I love how concise this post is.I'll also add that not being judgmental is very important.That way each person can be as open as possible without fear.
Amen! Preach sister!
We need to be vulnerable to each other without fear of being condemned. Thank you!
Lovely! I've heard about that forgiveness part. And not just once. One must learn to forgive a lot! Lol.
Yes dear, forgiveness is a must!
Nice to read from you!
Helene Angel says
Thanks for this message mummy. To think I'm the direct opposite of all this with my fiancé. I really have to work on all these aspects in my life
I'm so glad this inspired you, Helene. And so sorry for the late response.
claudine efenge says
My all time fav is laughter...goofey, silly laughter. Tt has been a remedy in our painful moments (miscarriages-2, losing a child, etc) even when we have little and big fights. one person just needs to start some silly thing, action or story and we start laughing about it, it becomes the ice breaker
Yes to laughter! Laughter is some good healing, I tell you. And so sorry about your lost babies. May you continue to find reasons to laugh inspite of it all.
claudine efenge says
Amazing points you came up with Precious!!!! I don't really see any other way around, because each of these is essential for a healthy matrimonial relationship.
I have been there. I'm still working to perfect what Christ has called me to be for my husband.
From a personal experience of being a wife, I have found forgiveness and sex to be the most critical ones. Ounce I'm able to forgive my spouse, I release him and release myself from bitterness, anger, lack of trust, etc.... I show my maturity and humility at the same time in the sense that I'm able to transcend all the hurts and pain I have endured.
Sex like you mentioned Precious, is the gasoline of the engine called marriage if I can put it in those terms. Can we survive without these? I doubt......
Amen! Forgiveness is key, dear.l Unforgiveness and bitterness are such heavy burdens to bear. We need to forgive then forgive again. And what you said about sex is so insightful. Thanks Candice!
Praying together and learning to forgive easily is very important. Forgiveness though can be tough will free your mind, Especially in situations of unfaithfullness for example. Thanks for putting this together. Love is truely intentional.🙏
Exactly Catherine. Forgiveness can be very tough but it really does set you free. Thank you for sharing.
Am just coming across this site and am so loving everything i read here. Marriage involves alot and with God all things are possible. I have learnt alot from your post and i appreciate them all. God help us all.
Amen! May God help us all.
Wow. Always watch your recipes, implement then but very quietly like your post. This reading truly got to me at the BEST possible time. I look forward to more "recipes for life".. MNM
So glad to hear that, dear. God bless you.
Deb Orr says
I'm not sure what to do. My husband isolates me from any and all financial issues. I have no access to accounts. Only the bread crumbs he leaves me. We have sex maybe every 2 years if I'm lucky. I initiate and get turned down. I'm not ugly and average size. He has cheated and I suspect he still is. He has left me hanging at my most vulnerable moments. Left me having very serious open heart surgery. I wasn't expected to live. I did and he has been of little support. I hate to divorce him because I try to please the Lord. I'm starting to get really scared. I believe he may be a narcissist. He has very passive aggressive behaviors. He is very secretive. Codes on his phone and computer that I don't know. He hides outside on the phone. I've tried so many time calmly talking to him, but nothing changes. I'm miserable and it's started making me feel so bad about myself. I never left my illness stop me. He has a clean home, dinner made, clothes washed. I wear make up most of the time. I don't know what he wants. He has never and I mean never went to a movie of my choice not even at home. I always have to be the one to give in. He has the master closet to himself. I have to find places for mine. He did clear a drawer for me. Help!!!