THE DAY THE PREACHER LIED

We followed the staircase down into the visually impressive church filled with anticipation. Sister B and I were intrigued to attend worship service in a new environment in Nigeria. We settled into our seats quickly and faithfully responded to every aspect of the service. As usual, my eyes wondered about, creating some acquaintance with the place.

The praise and worship session was led by a popular artist, whose videos we had watched back home in Cameroon. We were ‘star struck’ seeing him lead the music in the building. Being a performer, his theatrics were quite intriguing to watch. “Kaaaaaaaaaaaa-biyesi!” He screamed.

We danced along though a tad conservatively since we were new in the place. A few extroverted church members were having the time of their lives as they took the front section of the church and amused everyone with their ‘churchy’ dance steps. Some of their faces danced (with smiles and expressions) more than their bodies.

Then a special request was made for the choir to sing a song captioned, “Walk into your Season.” As the choir sang, “Walk into your season,” it was like we were walking into a new season with discoveries on how much a pulpit could be desecrated without fear.

The part many considered the core of service, the sermon arrived. After massaging the ego of the guest preacher with many unneeded words, he was ushered into the pulpit by the assistant pastor of the church. My expectations were high but they started going from high to low when I heard pure lies from that pulpit. 

The “man of God,” who happened to be Cameroonian as us, boasted of his 4000 member church in Cameroon. At the time in Cameroon, the only known mega pentecostal churches were Winners’ Chapel and another in Yaounde. But he wasn’t the bishop of the one in Yaounde. So where could his FOUR THOUSAND member PENTECOSTAL church be hiding? In Abombang?

He went further to say how bishops were treated as governors in Cameroon. Ahhh! Pentecostal bishops? Treated as governors in Cameroon? Meanwhile, in Cameroon at the time, the only recognised Bishop was Cardinal Tumi. And he wasn’t a pentecostal. He was a Roman Catholic.

If Bishop M were as famous as he claimed, couldn’t we have known him or even heard of him? He further said his wife drove a Prado- a woman who looked like she had been starved for days. And no, this is not a brilliant use of literary phrases. She seriously looked emaciated. I wondered how she sat in that chair comfortable with all the lies just like I often wonder how wives of lying pastors feel.

Then his sermon: he told the people David was in the bush while he was supposed to be on the throne. He assured the people that any body sitting on their thrones were being dethroned and they were taking their rightful places. The amens that followed were thunderous. Wait, did David not need the shepherd experience before becoming king? What happened to divine timing? Yes, he was meant to be king not at the same time as Saul. Well, the congregation was loving the message because it felt good. He then asked them to walk about prophetically into their thrones. The people paraded around majestically.

As if that was not enough, Bishop M led the people in an epic singing and dancing session. Half-way through the singing, he introduced the Christians into Coupé-Décalé, which was the popular secular music in Cameroon at the time. His hands demonstrated the way the song was popularly danced. Sister B and I looked at each other in shock.

The Nigerians who were not in the know as we were, totally believed him, admired him and even Coupé-Décaléed  along with him.

Bishop M narrated tales of how he was born in a pit toilet (latrine) and how he got healed at a popular evangelist’s crusade. Not that God doesn’t heal but I found it hard to believe his other stories seeing as a good part of them were lies I had facts to attest to. He even mixed up some of his lies. In the morning, he told us how he had no formal education but God lifted him up. Then later in an evening  church session, he went on to say how he had a “Masters Degree in his pocket.” Chai, you lie then you forget.

Sister B and I were not swayed by his lies so we behaved differently during the service. I mean we were, catching shame on his behalf and he noticed! So when we went to meet and greet him after the service, he blurted out, “these girls look like Cameroonians!” Was Cameroon written on our faces? He knew that we had easily detected his lies since we were from Cameroon too.

How does a man stand on a pulpit and tells lies effortlessly? How does a pastor consciously go against the ninth commandment which says, “thou shall not lie”? As I looked at Bishop M that day, I wanted to tell him to his face that he had done something wrong. I wanted to remind him of scripture:

“For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies” John 8: 44

Till date, I regret the fact that I didn’t take that bold step of speaking to Bishop M. I saw how much he was revered and I withdrew. I didnt want to be termed a “bad belle” person. As Christians, sometimes we need to speak the truth live and direct, politely and in love. After all, open rebuke is better than hidden love (Proverbs 27:5).

One time too many, I have watched untruths slide with ease from the mouths of supposed men of God. Take for instance an “award winning” testimony, which I have heard pastors narrate umpteen times. Here is how it goes:

“There was a sister in my church who had been married for (insert number) years. She came to me and said, “man of God, pray for me.” I prayed for her and she got pregnant with twins! After that, she got pregnant again with twins. The third time, she got pregnant again with twins! Then she told me, “man of God please tell God to stop. The blessing is too much!”

Friend, does this story sound familiar to you? So all these different men of God who have told the story were used by God to perform this exact specific miracle? Liar liar pants on fire!

Don’t get me wrong. God is a miracle worker, mountain mover and earth shaker. But we do not have to ‘help’ him with our lies. Just because you heard a story somewhere and it sounded good doesn’t mean you should fit yourself into a scene. That’s just like photoshopping yourself into a private jet. Saah!

I hear a lot of pastors narrate great things that happened when they were in say, Njinikejem. But when they are right ahead of you, those things don’t happen. Why? Stop creating and amplifying stories, to impress people, men of God!

Imagine Jesus standing in front of blind Bartimaeus saying, “The other day eh, I met a dead girl. Everyone was crying they were sad but I raised her up!” No, he didn’t do that. He just went ahead to perform the miracle. Stop telling myriads of stories to gain fame. In a multitude of words, sin is not lacking, says Proverbs 10:19.

To all of us, preacher or not, we should avoid lies telling like a plague. Look at what Proverbs 6: 16-19 says:

There are six things the Lord hates—
no, seven things he detests:
17 haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent,
18 a heart that plots evil,
feet that race to do wrong,
19 a false witness who pours out lies,
a person who sows discord in a family.

Did you see that lying is mentioned twice? This is a serious issue. God abhors lies-telling. Some people go as far as classifying some lies as “white lies”. Whether white, red, blue, green or purple, a lie is a lie. I wonder where Bishop M is today. But if I ever see him again, I will look into his face and say, “you lied.”

If you are guilty of lying to others and even to yourself, take a moment and ask God for forgiveness. Scripture says if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us. (1 John 1:9)

“Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.”