I just had the evening of my life with the girls. I poked their tummies and they laughed. We watched baby girl's mannerisms and laughed at her. Girl number told me she loves me so much and that I am the best mom in the world. Statements like this just melt my heart and make me thankful for being a mother. But then there are other times I ask myself what business I have with motherhood. How did I even get here? I'm I even doing this this thing right?
So I've been thinking of some of the crazy things each mother has done at some point in their life. Motherhood has shown me that I have a quirky association with crazy. Here are ten things each mother must have done:
1. Considered getting rid of the kids for a loooooong time.
Sometimes I just wish I could send my kids on a month-long vacation somewhere.
2. Spoken continuously like a mad person.
You know the way mad people speak sometimes. The speech is fast-forwarded and almost has no meaning. Yeah, that.
3. Seen your kids as deliberate enemies.
Some days, it just feels like the girls are doing every and anything to switch on my anger button. Dem send wona for ma back? Go and tell them you haff not seen me!
4. Given instructions that have little or no meaning
My aunt once yelled at her 3 screaming kids, "You stand there! You stand there! You, stand there!" What does that even mean?
4. Answered a toy phone. No matter how big and reasonable you are, when your kid gives you a toy phone, sister, just answer it!
5. Fought between sleeping and having me time. I go through the day exhausted and desperately wanting a date with my bed. But when the time comes, I just want to have some me-time.
6. Cried in secret. Because maybe you felt like you weren't slaying at motherhood like you should. Or maybe because motherhood was slaying you.
7. Said "yes" without listening. Sometimes you get tired of scrutinising requests and you just say yes without thinking. I said, "yes" the other day without thinking. Turns out girl number two was trying to do the opposite of what I wanted her to do.
8. Envied those without kids. You just look at those without kids and you're like, "you di enjoy oh!"
9. Played ABC songs even when no kid was watching. This is so me. I unconsciously leave the songs to play before I realise myself thereafter.
10. Hidden to eat your chocolate or some treat because you didn't want your kids to beg for some.
Bonus point: Used the restroom with an audience. It just happens. You are sitting there and a tiny human being pushes their way in.
Another bonus point: Prolonged shower time just because you want to have alone time. I take staycations in my bathroom... literally.
Anotherrrrr bonus point (Ha! I should write a "book" on this): Taken your kid to the hospital to consult for a really serious illness and it turns out to be nothing. I once took my oldest to the hospital with some serious complaints and the doctor said her sickness was called, "good mother syndrome".
Okay, last one: Punished your kid for acting exactly like you. Raise your hands if guilty.
So what are some of the crazy things you have done as a mother or you have observed other mothers do?
Let's always remember that each time you show love to a kid, you are changing the world.
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Arrey Echi says
Hahahahahaha wona ashia. I have watched my elder siblings do almost everything you mentioned above. Yes mother hood has its momemnts.
http://www.joy2endure.com
Anonymous says
Oh! It's the last bonus point, I raised my hand up cos I AM GUILTY! God will help us all (Amen)
Precious Nkeih says
Amen and amen!
Engwari Y. says
Great one here Precious.
You are a gifted writer.
I've been there tooooo.
You just made my day.
God bless you.
Precious Nkeih says
Thank you ooo. Motherhood is like the craziest of the hoods.
Precious Nkeih says
Thank you ooo. Motherhood is like the craziest of the hoods.
Precious Nkeih says
I hide to eat my chocolate because they won't let me indulge in peace. Person no go enjoy again? Lol
Precious Nkeih says
Your words just made my day, dear.
God bless you too.
Susan Awu says
I totally relate with this post. Chai.
Chinelo Okoli says
Hahahaha...I love this post Presh. I can relate with all of them.
My daughter will not allow me use the toilet in peace, infact the thing tire me. If i shout, go back, she will just stand there staring at me. lol.
You know how i love soursop, i just wish i can hide and eat it in peace. Once my daughter sights it on a plate, she frantically follows me until i give her some. If i don't she will start crying down the house. Na wah!
Motherhood brings out the silly side of me though, you should see us playing.
http://www.neloshalo.blogspot.com
Nkeih Fidelis says
Hummmm sweet, this is avoid one, thank God you did not mention daddy's own crazy things, because even girl no 1 says that I am the funniest person around... You know what the requirements are to earn that award. All in all parenthood is greatest experience in life, especially if you strive to do it right...
Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde says
Hahaha, your posts are always nice to read. I've done a couple of these wto my younger sister when she was small. My mum sent us on long vacations ooo to boarding house Lmao. She likes her rest kwa
http://www.toyinwithfashion.com
Olaa Bobade says
The part of punishing your child for acting just like you made me smile. I see myself doing it someday. Your girls are cute!
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Precious Nkeih says
Susan, we are in this together.
Precious Nkeih says
I should totally do a post on crazy things every daddy has done.
Precious Nkeih says
Aww thanks Toyin. Every Mummy needs some time to refuel.
Precious Nkeih says
Aww thanks Olaa! It's funny how we frown at our kids for doing the same things that we do.
Nwamaka Ajaegbu says
This cracked me up! I can relate to this post - especially the screaming part and saying yes without listening. I was a babysitter at a point in my life.
Kisses to the girls.
Precious Nkeih says
Haha as a babysitter you equally get to have a taste of the craziness in motherhood.
The girls will get your kisses!
Precious Nkeih says
Thankyou for reading, Kachee!
Kachee Tee says
Loved this post Precious!!! Hilarous and so so true!
http://www.KacheeTee.com
Precious Nkeih says
Hahaha glad you can relate, Melvis. Motherhood is interesting.
kwam melvis says
Hahahaha Pre. love the post and cant stop smiling cause am guilty of almost everything u said. I will always hide to eat chocolate and i have also answered calls on toy phones;used a key as phone and even used my daughters hand as phone when she puts it on my ear and asks me to talk to daddy.hahahah motherhood is GREAT
Cheechee Live says
hehe.You know Ilove you and I can relate with this a 100%.My first will be sent to her grandparents next week and I can't wait.Let me manage the little one and have a little time for myself even though she is still attached to my boobs.For indulging in peace I do that well,buy my chocolate or cookies and wait for bedtime then I sit and devour the thing.No time!
http://www.cheecheelive.com
Precious Nkeih says
Haha no time to waste!
Love you too, hun.
I'm officially jealous of how free you will be when your oldest leaves.
Cassie Daves says
Lool My mum has definitely done number 7. I really want to be jam, but I don't look forward to the stress. Haha
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Precious Nkeih says
Haha I think the fulfillment far surpasses the stress, Cassie.
Bubu Green says
Oh my God! You nailed every single point. Everything here is soooo me, save the hospital trip cos I dread that. The hiding part to eat treats, The bathroom part as a sanctuary, Hahhh! Typical Bubu.LMAO. Awww Presh, we are one and the same. God help us. http://www.bubusboulevard.com
Precious Nkeih says
We are indeed one and the same, Bubu.
I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in this craziness.
This too shall pass. LOL
Doreen ij says
This is so hilarious! I just have one kid and she is a handful. I never can understand the need to join me in the toilet and want to talk. I just resigned my self to fate. I love this blog.
Precious Nkeih says
Lol at you resigned yourself to fate. What can a girl do?
claudine efenge says
hihi ,guilty as charged. i relate to every single point. i pretend to poo for long while i read my novel. Eish motherhood. it is getting the first two girls are off to the dormitory. but this last girl, chai....pikin di humbug like old mat house. Thanks Pre
Precious says
Ooh why am I just seeing this now? Lol at old mat! I could take forever in bathroom having some me time before I go out again to the chaos. Mum survival tactics. Lol
Frances Okoro says
lol at hide to eat chocolates..
loool
Precious says
Hahaha it works!
Olayinka says
Ha Ha Ha I love this post.I am guilt of every single point.
Precious says
Hahahaha!
Linda Ayangafac says
Number 4 got me cracking. And guess what? My first daughter will say mama this doesn’t make sense. And I will tell her I know but just stay there.
Precious says
Hahaha I can imagine!