I don’t know why people keep saying husbands are scarce. I have put together a list of the coolest places in Bamenda to meet your husband… at your own risk ooo.
1. At a fighting scene.
When people engage in a fight, there are always the coolest guys that come out to stop the fights and offer some advice to the parties.
2. Facebook, but not the average guy.
The one with a swaggerlicious profile picture and a location that says, “Bamenda.”
3. Mbu houses, especially the ones at ‘Shwine’ Quarters.
Chances are your guy will be a very happy person. He won’t have time to argue with you. He’ll simply go to the Mbu house and drink his problems away. Oh the power of palm wine! Be prepared to sing songs like,
In my cup,
In my cup,
I want to see mimbo in my cup
Or this one,
There is mimbo and kola over here
There is mimbo and kola over here
There is mimbo and kola herrrrre
Over here, over here, over here
Or even this one,
Matango weti ah do you?
Matango weti ah do you?
Ah take ma money, ah buy you dey
You carry me nak am for down
Kirikijim!
4. In church.
And I don’t mean mainstream churches. The guys there are not serious. Go to a hot church and sight a brother whose enthusiasm has made many erroneously call him the pastor. If he wears santiago shoes and a suit whose coat doesn’t match the trousers, that’s even better. He will take good care of you, sister. Go for him!
5. Food Market
There are always more women than men at the food market. Moreover, most of the men there are traders. However, if you find a man, doing his shopping and he is single, don’t let him go. This one will share the responsibility of house upkeep with you and will buy you plenty wrappers. Look for the one that can bargain like,
Your future husband: “Mami tomatoes na how much for bucket?”
Buyam Sellam: “Five hundred”
Your darling future husband: “No be 50?”
If he bargains like that then my sister, you have found for yourself a thrift spender. He will be financially responsible in marriage. Don’t let him go.
6. Ayaba Hotel.
Go here if you are looking for a javeur as a husband.
7. On top of an Okada
Strike a conversation with the Okada rider and ask him if he is single. Okada men in Bamenda make some decent money these days.
Don’t forget to come back here to testify when you find your ‘horseband.’
I could not stop laughing…. and to think that some people actually found their soul mates in one of those places/situations! anyway, mostly in Nigerian movies…
Good write up courage.
great piece….courage
Precious Writing. Volatile blend of mirth and sarcasm.
You left out one crucial place. "Die house". The ones sharing the mbuh and consoling the people will be compassionate. Hahahaha
Hahahaha you're right.
Lol, some people actually found their soulmates in those places? Chai, imagine telling your kids in the future: We met at mbu house…
Thank you!
No be so, This Pikin?
Chei all this tam ah di nack head so mean say na ele fo pay fap thasand go Abakwa ah go get mansa? Make ah start pack ma bag di do!!
Hahahahahahahahaha I couldn't stop laughing since from the topic! U are one very talented writer sis!
Sista, find ya fap kolo di go. You don di miss ooo.
Hahahaha thanks sis!
Hahahahahah OMG this is the best write up I have read in a long time. Your teenage daughter will ask
Daughter: mummy so where did you and Daddy hook up?
Mummy: there was this fight in old town between…..,
Choooiiii ?????
Hahahaha thanks for stopping by, dearie.
Hahahaha, oh my God, how did I miss this post. I will invite those friends who are looking for husbands on dating websites to come our blog. Husbands are closer to home than they think. Thanks for a good laugh
Ateyu, how did you miss this eh? Lol husbands are so close. No need for dating sites.
LOl hahaha, i just started laughing when i saw the the title. you no go kill person Aunty precious.
No be so? Lol
its funny and somehow weird but its reality my dear