I arrived at my friend’s house with my face pale from so much crying. I just wanted someone who could help relieve me of the frustration I was feeling at the moment. When I settled in, I opened my bag of woes to her. As I spoke, she cut in and began accusing me of things which had little or nothing to do with our conversation. She attacked me in my moment of vulnerability and made my frustration progress geometrically. From our conversation I deduced that my friend had harbored grievances against me. Now that I was wretched and frustrated, she just had to tell me the things that came from the abundance of her heart.
I was perplexed. I had gone there looking for a shoulder to cry on but I went back with a knife stuck in my chest.
It happens all the time. You find yourself in a difficult situation. You just want someone to talk to. You find the next available person and pour your heart out. Here is what happens:
- They eventually use it against you.
- They pity you.
- They lose respect for you.
- This quote: “Loose lips sink relationships.”
- They will never forget even after you move on from the problem
- They may not believe you.
I have learnt the hard way that it is HARD to find the right person to talk to in your moment of trouble. A quote by Lou Holtz stipulates,
“Never tell your problems to anyone… 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.”
Life happens in seasons.When you are in the winter of your life, at that very dark moment, it is tempting to vent to the hearing of the next available ear. A lot of the people around you DO NOT CARE.
Don’t tell them your problems. Keep your issues under lock and key.
This includes godly people, y’all. Spirit-filled people. People that make demons flee. You would see them from afar and imagine that their shoulders will be heavily padded and comfy to cry on. In most cases, you would be disappointed when you draw closer.
My friend, when you are in that dark area of your life when you feel your problems will strangle you, go into your closet and shut the door and talk to your Father in heaven. While at it, hit the wall if you want to. Kick the props around you if you want to. Jump and shout if you want. Keep talking for hours if you want. When you are in that secret place, where only you and Him connect, know that you are in the safest place.
As you talk to the God who is never too bored to listen, He will direct you to the right person to help you IF NEED BE. You will not need to open your whole can of worms before this person but the little you will say will bring you a solution.
So when life begins to throw sour lemons, limes in your face, don’t tell them about it. Tell HIM about it. And if someone ever comes to you with a problem, take time to:
- Listen well
- Advice objectively
- Caution if need be
Sometimes, talking to a genuine listening ear is all the therapy you need. Sometimes, your problems could be life-threatening and you need to run somewhere for help. However, if the problems you face are not literally about to sniff life out of you, then sulk them in and talk to your Papa in heaven.
“Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray.” James 5:13