I am the girl nobody liked. Before I went to school, I mean secondary school, I was the "perfect" little girl- well loved by her parents and family members. I was intelligent, curious and basically on top of the world. When I went to boarding school, that changed fast. Peer pressure has a way of highlighting your flaws. Or making you see "flaws" that you didn't know you had.
For instance, I felt perfectly beautiful until one girl remarked to me that my legs were not good enough. Or until another girl told me that I didn't have a "figure 8" like my friends. And these things and others began to deflate my ego gradually until there was barely nothing left of my self-esteem.
I thought I was cool until I discovered that I had few friends. In fact, I had remarkably noticed that my arrival at school at the beginning of each term didn't result in lots of ululations as it did for the others.
I am that girl who totally had no swag. It was so bad that I once wore a "kito" sandal which was in vogue then and another student told me it didn't fit me.
I was weird in every sense of the word. Quiet, withdrawn and mostly pouring in my strength and passion into my academics and writing. At some point, even my academics began to suffer. And it made a huge difference when my parents pulled me out of the school I attended at the time and took me home to attend a regular day school. My end of term results went from failure to top of the class because of this change in environment.
I was beaten by the words and actions of those who surrounded me and this greatly affected my self-esteem. I never had a chance to be truly me, just me. I didn't stand a chance. I was not like them. I was not the most beautiful girl. I was not the girl with a boyfriend or boyfriends. I was a trying to fit in a round whole but I was square.
The more I tried to fit in, the more I sought acceptance and admiration from my peers, the more I tried to be like one of them, the more I got rejected.
And I carried this baggage from my secondary school days right into my university days. I was constantly feeling "not enough". I was constantly "feeling inadequate". Yes, that's the phrase: "feeling inadequate."
I tried to make a few friends understand but they just wouldn't. But I met someone who completely understood me and complete accepted me. His name is Jesus.
In Him, I am enough. In Him I am completely loved, totally accepted, totally desired. In Him, I am complete. In Him, I am perfect. With Him, I can beat depression and enjoy this life fully as I was meant to do.
If you have been, an out-of-the-norm weird-do kind of person like me, this post is for you. If you have waddled through life feeling unloved and unaccepted, these words are for you. Take it from a girl who was once there. You are completely loved and accepted by Jesus. In Him you are complete.
Pour out your worries to Him in prayer. And let Him work in you and through you. He is still in the business of changing stories. And yours, my friend will not be an exception.
P.S. This post was supposed to go up yesterday but I couldn't publish because I had issues with my eyes. Thankfully they are better now.
Do you have a story about being rejected? What was it like? Let's talk.
La Princesse says
This stopry is talking exactly about me apart from the fact that when peers said you are not good enough i just looked at them and laugh and say i might not be beautiful enough, i might not have the figure 8 or the perfect leg but i definately have the perfect mind, the perfect friend and moreover, a loving family, so you can go to hell for all i care.
it hurts alot this rejection but ones you know what you want, you believe in yourself nd morepover you believe in your God and put all in his hands, you are good to go
Precious says
La Princesse, thank you for sharing! I love your response. Once you believe in God and believe in yourself, you're good to go!
cintia says
It's their loss. I bet the tables have turned and those people are green with envy. Thank God for Jesus.
Precious says
Yes sis, thank God for Jesus!
Emilia says
Very beautiful. Always enjoy reading your posts. You are doing a wonderful job.
Precious says
Thank you so much!
Splendor says
Hahahaha wow . I had a superiority complex indeed. Not that I did not at times wish to be like others but way back I always encouraged myself and looked at myself better than other.
But when I met Jesus, he broke me. He made me to start seeing others better, I learned how to appreciate others and today, I know we all are perfect and equal before God
Precious says
Amen!
I love the way He breaks us to bring out the best in us.
Thanks for sharing, Splendor.
Ethel says
Wao! I like your story. To me I always felt the same. Intact I even had no friends while in school I had class mates with whom we did assignments and research. I could bring myself out of that inferiority complex only when I left the training school (GTTC). That was when I realised that if I could make it to this level it mean all what my mates thought of me wasn't really important what is important is the inside; the inside beauty. Then when I met the Ancient Of Days, He gave me another version of me. I now believe so much in 'myself in Him'. Even if I fall or fail I learn. That's what is important to me. Stay bless.
Precious says
Hi Ethel,
I really love the phrase, "myself in Him". Scripture says our lives are hid in Christ.
"Even if I fall or fail I learn." So true! Thanks for sharing, dear.
Amaka says
Aww. . . I was a withdrawn teen too. Although I was good with academics, I never felt like the others who were outspoken and bold. I literally grew up at the university. Lol.
This post is beautiful. We like you here and now!
Precious says
I feel you sis!
Thank you... love you too.
Dominika Goodness says
Precious I can totally relate with this rejection, peer pressure thing. Back in my secondary school and university days my peers always made me feel like I never had enough of the trendy clothes, they would always call me 'a pretender' because I never followed them to any of the happening night clubs in the university but today I sincerely thank God for not giving in to those pressures. Btw, Precious I'm sorry about your eyes, I am glad you are better now.
dominikagoodness.blogspot.com.
Precious says
Oh I can imagine! Peer pressure is real. Thank God you didn't give in.
About the eyes - thanks dear!
Thatcher says
My story till date
Precious says
I have prayed for you, dear. You are completely loved and accepted by God.
Gerry says
Lots of people want to treat you better. You are something great in the Eyes of God and in the eyes of those who know him. I love you in Jesus name.
itunu says
Awww
My story is a bit similar to yours. Recently, God made me see how far He has brought me, changing me from the inside out...especially for a girl that used to have lots of negative thoughts battling in my head and my mind. Jesus is so good to us. He's been good to me. Pulling me out of my shell and letting his love wash me and make me whole. This life I live is for Him. I pray for the grace and strength to keep living and loving on Him.
Thanks for sharing Precious. As usual, your posts are delightful to read. Xx
Precious says
I kept nodding in agreement as I read your comment. Look at how much you are a blessing to the people around you!
God is the God who changes stories. He brings miracles in the mess.
Bisola says
Thanks for sharing this with us Precious. My self esteem grew in the University but not until I found Jesus did I get that total acceptance and complete self confidence I had been lacking and looking for from childhood.
My story is a bit similar to yours in that boarding house worsened stuff for me and it affected my grades. I just didn't thrive in that environment.
Thank God for Jesus.
Precious says
Bisi, I didn't thrive at all in my first years in boarding school. I was weak, withdrawn and weird. Thank God for all He's done for us. He invited me to His table and I've been eating from there ever since.
Thank you for sharing, dear.
Gerry says
Lesson, what people say you are is not necessarily what you are. How you feel about yourself is what matters most. If your shoes are ugly but you like them, it does not matter what anybody thinks so long as they are safe. Ugly and happy is way better than beautiful and slutty. Besides, ugly for one person is Tinkerbell for another.
Schools in Cameroon are tough places to be in. I went to a boarding boys school and the taunts were similar. Fortunately I am a mouthy dude. So if you talk about my ugly shoes I'll talk about your mama. We don't know the meaning of esteem back home. While we are moral persons, we lack a lot of altruism when it comes to emotions.
Glad you overcame it all. Look at you now! Million dollar baby with God on her side.
Precious says
You are so right, Gerry!
How you feel about yourself is what matters.
Thank God, your mouth saved you. A lot of our self-esteems were butchered by peer pressure back then and we didn't even know it. Thanks for your comment, dear.
emmanuela says
I have learned that, in the world we live in, those who are not accepted are the greatest,thank GOD you never gave up on your dream,it was a wonderful story,
Precious says
Well said, Emmanuela.
Thanks, dear!
Munge s says
I had the same situation,tho I was intelligent but I couldn't really get dat friendship esplly with d proud attitude of southwest girls.I equally changed school n where I went to I made friends with brainy girls like me n the loved me the way I was.I even got to exploit talents I didn't know I had,n I started doing well in maths as I became open with my difficulties n had people to share dem w me.thks precious Jesus is everythg indeed!I will forever praise Him
Precious says
Thanks for your comment, Munge!
I'm glad my story resonates with you. It's amazing how our environments change us. Sometimes all we need is a change of environment for things to get better.
Fri Beltha says
I just wrote a comment to you wishing to see you or the lucky man who has you like a wife. but when I got into your profile I saw you are married to my brother. I am from the NCHIFOR 's in pinyin
Precious says
Hello Fri! I'm actually the one who is Nchifor here so we are related! So happy to meet you!
Fri Beltha says
okay so happy to meet you too.
moonlight says
Oh! I really love this post.
This is so me.
Jesus is the best thing that has ever happened to me, cuz He has made me the me that I am today.
I am not pretty, sometimes I feel like I am the least of all.
I may not have the best of everything, but I am extremely thankful.
I may not be the best of everything, but I believe in me and in who that has made me me
Precious says
Moonlight, you are pretty and complete in Him!
Don't you ever say you are not pretty because you are.
God supplies all your needs according to His riches in glory. So you may not have all you want but you have what you need.
Thank you for writing, dear. Have a lovely weekend!
Veronique says
This is exactly my story, Nothing less!!!!
I always feel am not beautiful enough, not loved and consequently obliged to constantly force people into accepting me with good deeds, gifts and all that and uncalled for smiles. I have accepted Jesus into my life but am still battling with the inferiority complex a whole lot, I guess it has gotten a better part of me. Am so happy when I hear people testifying of howeeting Jesus has changed them completely but am still to experience that life-changing power. I really need it so badly because the insulting, belittling and denigrating voices from my childhood are still haunting me though am almost thirty now!
Precious says
Dear Veronique,
I just said a prayer for you.
Know that you are completely loved by God. Start by believing in yourself and being thankful for how God made you. When you are positive about yourself, that positivity would spread to others.
Choose to believe in yourself against the odds. Don't focus on the voices that may have hurt your self-esteem. Focus on what God says about you.
Also note that this is a step-by-step process. It is not something that you suddenly get out of. But with time, it will get better.
Love you, dear.
claudine efenge says
Pre...i cried when i read this post. i did'nt go through this but my teenage daughter(Jenny the cooking freak) faced serious problems last year in form three. You know "pays" style, boyfriend and peer pressure. Her friends and classmates due to disney channel influence started calling her nerd, pdt book book, goody goody why? she's a typical bookworm, excels in her studies, wants to be neurosurgeon, does'nt go out, loves baking, food shows and is way too matured for her age and is having acne issues. i saw my daughter withdraw into her shell, her results for first sequence exams made me almost die with shock. This was not my bubbly, smart girl. i just could'nt place my finger on what was wrong. It got so bad that her younger sister was the one who called that i come to school asap. cut long story short she confided in me and i decided that i was just going to withdraw her from that school. funny enough it's her younger sister who gave the perfect solution, that Miss jenny sit up, pray about it and remain true to who you are...that is good punishment for them to know you're above them with their cheap quest to be liked by all.
It's terrible how young children can be so vicious. I showed her your post to read. Thank you
Precious says
Sis, your comment made me cry. I'm so happy my story can make such a difference! Peer pressure especially for teens can be a terrible thing. Thank God you discovered the problem. Sadly some parents never find out.
Please tell Jenny that she is COMPLETELY loved by God. The words her younger sister said are so true. Such wisdom! You are blessed sis, to have such amazing young women. Please extend my love to them. I hope to see all of you some day and hug you as much as I can. God bless! 💜💜💜
Black magic says
Hey Precious,
I really don't like reading blogs but the moment I read your first, I fell in love with your writing. It feels like we're talking face to face and you shouldn't stop. By the way, I love! love! your cooking. Thanks for the encouraging words. I personally still feel like I'm not good enough. I have always been the shy type, quiet girl, average IQ and no societal status. Over the years all these have changed tremendously for the better but I am a soft speaker so those who can't hear me shun me and this is not helping the person I am struggling so hard to become. Please pray for me. I received a prophecy in Cameroon from a friend that the Lord said I struggle to make people love me but if I come to him I will have al I seek and more. I try to be close to God but..... Pray for me please
Precious says
Hi dear, I'm so glad you found me. Thanks for your very kind words!
I pray that the feeling of rejection will leave your life. Know that you are completely loved and accepted by God. You must also love and appreciate yourself. If you don't value you, others won't value you. There's is a validation that only you can give to yourself. And this is not being proud but knowing your self-worth.
I just said a prayer for you. I pray that you will know God more. May you hunger for God more than anything else. Knowing Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me. I pray that your relationship with God will grow greatly.
Live loved, dear. God bless.
Blessed says
Couple your experience to being the skinniest girl and you'll get my experience. It was totally frustrating, though I never showed it out. But it still hurt. Anyways, I'm still skinny but I love myself because God made me that way and he loves me. Thank you sister for sharing this, and may God bless you
Precious says
Yes sister, you are God's masterpiece - perfectly formed by Him. God bless you, dear.
Mary James says
Wao! What a story!
I have my own share of story of which I'm greatful how it ended, ' cos it really motivate me. Everybody has a group one way or the other but I'm always left alone. But I used that moment to study hard, which gave me an edge over them.
Above all, I return all Glory to God...
Precious says
Amen, Mary! Never waste your pain. When you feel uninvited into 'their groups' focus on achieving something positive. Thank you for sharing!
Wirnkar Cecile says
Wooow so inspiring have been there too but got to gather my self esteem when I read a Zimbabwean magazine about self confidence. It helped me a lot and thence no one can talk me down
Precious says
AMEN! There's nothing like a healthy self esteem. Glad you found that magazine. God bless you, dear.