Picture this: a man and a woman dancing salsa on stage. Their dance steps are flawless. They are in complete unison. Their moves are so elegant and in sync. They are simply a pleasure to look at. Does this kind of perfection on the dance floor happen overnight?
The answer is a resounding NO!
It takes several hours of practice. It takes blood, sweat and tears. It takes making mistakes, correcting them, falling, rising again and all sorts of physical and emotional stretching to be able to pull through an exhilarating dance performance.
Now picture this: a man and woman who trust each other completely. They are each other's best friend. They laugh together and play like kids. They stay closer to each other during the storms and seek the best interest of each other. Does this sound like the kind of marriage you would want to have?
Does this kind of marriage happen overnight? The answer is another resounding NO!
Perfection in marriage, just like perfection on the dance floor doesn't happen overnight. It takes lots of training, lots of tweaking and lots of devotion to have what can be termed the perfect marriage. This analogy, between dancing and marriage as explained by my pastor, really hits home for me.
To have the perfect marriage, your marriage must be built on the author of marriage, who is God. Separate your marriage from God and you will be setting yourself up for disaster. Your marriage must be built on Godly principles and not what the world says. The world has a lot to say about marriage today. A whole lot. A whole of this lot is in direct contrast to the word of God. And sadly, many Christians are buying it because it is humanly pleasing.
Always evaluate your marriage based on what God's word say. Look at the big picture. The fact that marriage is not just about the here and now. It is pointing us towards something bigger which is Christ's relationship with the church.
To have the perfect marriage, you must die daily. You must let go of your wants and aspirations to please the other. You can not truly love without dying. You can't just completely and always be yourself and love deeply. Sometimes you need to let go and let love.
To have the perfect marriage you must invest in your relationship. Switch off your phone, computer and all gadgets to have quality time with your partner. Read marriage books, attend seminars together, go out and have fun! Mr N and I will be going to a marriage seminar this weekend and I couldn't be more excited! Sitting down to learn from an experienced Christian couple will be a great boost to our relationship.
So if you have been wondering why you don't just "click" with your partner, always remember that perfection doesn't happen overnight. You need to:
- Do little things to make your marriage stronger
- Be intentionally happy
- Keep finding reasons to stay married
- Always remember your love story
- Communicate effectively
When you water your marital lawn you will see it blossom. Remember that "a perfect marriage is made up of two imperfect people who just refuse to give up on each other".
What are the characteristics of a perfect marriage to you? Please share below.
Precious Nkeih says
Being in love is a conscious decision. Well said, Kachee!
Kachee Tee says
Absolutely! You just have to invest in it!! That's the bottom line. I keep saying being in love is a conscious decision. You wake up each day deciding to love this person you married.
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Kewrites says
You are right on point dear. A three-fold cord is a non-negotiable in a perfect marriage. Talking about remembering your love story ha, my H and I on our way back from a trip today started recounting when I 'fell' in love with him...its fun to look back at how far the LORD has taken you as a couple. Talk about the first apartment you lived in, the first date, the first kiss and those early days within the sheets:-) let me run oh before I fill this space! I love that pic of you two
Olaa Bobade says
I love the comparison with dancers. It's perfect. Yes to what Kachi said. Thank God your marriage section is loaded. Somewhere to visit when the time comes. Lol
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Brenda's Couch says
Marriage is investment and patience.. There is no perfect marriage anywhere in the world. All couples have their time to laugh, smile, FIGHT, not talk to each other at times and make up again with even more brighter smile.
But one thing i always pray for is that, the man i 'd marry someday shouldnt be the one that would keep things in heart for long. After any quarrel, we shouldn't take it to the next day.
Nice post Precious.
Brendascouch.com
Bubu Green says
"You must die daily"....Word!!!��. The more you become less centred on self, the more selfless and giving you become. That's key. Meanwhile, Just yesterday, I suggested to hubby that he and I learn the salsa. I look forward to it. Kudos to you an Mr N. XO
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Precious Nkeih says
I love the comparison with dancers too. It is so valid!
Yes dear, the marriage section is so loaded plus there is more to come. Thanks for stopping by!
Precious Nkeih says
Hahahaha why are you running? Come back here and finishing the gist.
Talking about those early days breeds a sweet nostalgic feeling.
Precious Nkeih says
Exactly, Brenda! Just as the weather has different seasons, so does a marriage. It helps to understand the times. Thanks for always reading!
Precious Nkeih says
Awww you guys should so learn the Salsa. It is a lot of fun!
Damiloves says
This is great Precious,
Just like anything worthwhile, we need to work at it and invest time to make sure it endures the tough times. I may as well bookmark this for future reference.
Depression and the devil
itunu says
I loved this. It was beautifully written and you know I always love things that have its foundation in God's word. Funny enough, these things you mentioned are the things God has been teaching me personally in my Love walk with Him. In the good times and bad times, I'm going to keep loving Him and remember How He came through for me in the past. Bare myself open to him, my heart for him to see till he melts all of me and I have none of myself but all of Him.
Ive also come to learn that watch how people are faithful with their relationship with God, that will be the blueprint of how their relationship with human beings or spouses will turn out to be. It's that simple. If they don't get the basics of loving God, then they might find it hard to love others the way God wants us to.
Joy2Endure says
Not in that school yet but I do know that it may take a moment to fall in lust, a long while to turn the lust into love and a life time of investment to build on that love and make it stand on solid ground. You are right a song in my Kingdom Hall echoes the word of Eccl 4:12 when we sing 'when God is in a Union, problems will be few'. A three fold cord cannot be easily broken.
That said, I will come back here when and if I join this school someday. In the meantime, keep dancing salsa and keep the flames burning.
http://www.joy2endure.com
akaglue says
Just found ur blog, I love it and I have bookmarked. Marriage comes with a daily determination to make it work. When the kids start coming, it's easy to slip into the mummy and daddy role and forget to be a lover to your partner. Always be a friend and lover to your partner so as to keep th fire burning.
http://www.akaglue.com
Kelly Chebongkeng says
Oh aunt Precious! You've said it all. As someone aspiring to build a home someday, these are the kind of words I need. Bless you aunty. And congratulations for the birth of baby Essie. May God grant you divine wisdom to raise her and her sisters for His glory.